My 4th

Today i am going to complain about the rude n disgusting n dumb corporate pple i had encountered in my 3 days stint as a telemarketer. However i m proud to declare that i am now an EXPEREIENCED telemarketer liao! Heh heh!

I always thought that the best job in the world is telemarketing cos u only need to use ur mouth to tok cock n bullshit which is coincidentally my forte. (But sotong told me tat i m more suited for those sex chat-line bcos of my wunderfully creative imagination. then again, wat sotong say cnt be trusted. jus read my 1st entry n u noe) But doing and assuming are of course very different just like theory n practice like that. I start to find out that Singapore has a lot of pple who r very rude n stupid. The type i hate most is the one with the act-cute voice which actually sounded very bitchy. This one happens to be the 1st annoying idiot whom i drew a pig next to her co name. She talks in a shrill and annoying voice tat goes, 'xxx is no longer with us. what do u want!! do u know its our lunch time now?!' N no, i m not exagerrating, u cld really hear the EXCLAIMATION MARKS in her conversation with me! Still i mantain my cool n asked what time is her lunch time till. In an annoyed n still bitchy voice, she goes, 'call 2pm!' n slammed the phone on me! grrrrr! i hope she broke her 10 freshly manicured fingernails while slamming the phone n choke on her fishball later! N no, i haven call her back yet. will try next week to test my patience, cos it wun b fun if there's no challenge mah!

Then there's another type who hear the word, 'fundraising' and goes, 'no no i dun wan buy anything!' n then tell u not to call back again. Or there are those with ridiculously stupid requests that made u wan laugh but u must 'ren'!! cos must respect customer mah! anyway these customers are mostly very polite and i think they are abit tired liao so their brain cnt work properly like mine sometimes n so they ask funny funny qns. Its ok, as long as they are not rude like the pig mentioned above!

Day 1 ended with alot of piggies drawn on my calling list.
Pig = dumb pple.
Flying pigs = idiotic pple who will buy frm me if pig cn fly! ie. misson impossible la!

Day 2: drawn 3 angels on my calling list cos they are so friendly n nice.

Anyway during my 3rd day i started to feel more confident n got more positive responses (& more angel on my calling list) and perhaps 2 potential clients so i think my telemarketing skill improving! yeah! Then i read about the below article from talkingcock.com and feel very afraid that clients will do tat to me!!! ARRGH!!!


HOW TO SCARE THE TELEMARKETER!!!

Tired of complete strangers calling you up and trying to sell you stuff or get you to sign up for some donno what MLM deal? Nevermind! Here are some WAYS TO SCARE A TELEMARKETER!

• Ask him to talk v-e-r-y slooooowly, because you want to write down EVERY WORD he says.

• After he finishes saying all his marketing crap, tell him he must marry you first, before you sign on. When he acts all surprised, say, What, you expect me to give my credit card details to a complete stranger, meh??

• When he introduces himself (e.g. sammy?, immediately say, wah piang eh! Sammy! Long time no see, man! How are you! Are you still living in that old place??This should stun Sammy for a while, as he scrambles to remember where he might know you from.

• If he says he's, e.g. Tan Ah Seng from ABC Pte Ltd, ask him to spell his name. Then ask him to spell the company name. Then ask him where it's located. Continue asking him personal questions or questions about the company for as long as you feel like it.

• Insist the caller is actually your friend Benny, playing a joke. Ah, Benny, dun lai dat leh! Stop playing the fool! Seriously lah, Benny, how's your mother, ah? Is she out of the hospital yet??Etc, etc.

• After he finishes his pitch, say in a very creepy voice, Thank you for calling me. I don'T have many friends?do you want to be my friend??

• If he asks, how are you??Tell him! Wah lau, siong, man! Got so many problems. My fish all died, lah, then my mother and father had this big argument until neighbours call police all, and then lagi worse, donno why, but my crotch whole day was very itchy, so I went to the clinic and then blah blah blah.. Continue till he hangs up.

• Tell him you are busy at the moment, and ask him for his HOME number so you can call him back. He'll try to give his office number, but insist on his HOME NUMBER. When he says he can't give his HOME NUMBER, ask him, you dowan some funny stranger calling you up at home and disturbing you, is it??He will agree and u'll say, Then now you know how I feel!?And then say goodbye and hang up.

Courtesy of Talkingcock.com

LOL! So cute! i just love talkingcock.com so much! =) but dun ever do that to me ar!!! i shall curse u choke ur fishball! =p

With Love,

SNOWBALL