Women 17 Times More Likely To Die From Chocolate Overdose
Brown Death
Cole Slaugh
04/15/2003 A recent study, conducted by the University of California at Berkeley School of Behavioral Science, compared chocolate intake and it's potentially deadly effects on men and women.

The first subject group included locking 20 hung over male fraternity freshmen in a room with an unlimited supply of Hershey's bars. Another group consisted of 20 women taken from a local "Weight Watchers" class and locked in room with the same conditions.

Since the frat boys ended up vomiting more often (a condition that's not normally associated with chocolate intake), they consumed far fewer candy bars than their feastingly fat female counterparts.

The women, on the other hand, actually ate so much chocolate that 17 of the 20 went into sugar shock and later died. Before keeling over, they demanded Chinese food, screamed at the cameras, cried about how ugly they were, and insisted on their right to use a bathroom. Conversely, the men just quietly passed out and urinated on themselves.

"This without a doubt, proves that chocolate is 17 times more addictive and likely to cause death to women," stated chief researcher Brad Knittling. "Although, we've had a lot of complaints from women's groups that the study was biased and unfair because the women ate all of the Hershey's bars we had, and we had to substitute it with baker's chocolate. But that's to be expected from the Feminine leadership. They've always had that 'penis complex' thing gnawing at their inner groin. Besides, we only locked them in there for 24 hours. For God's sake, show some self control people."

The study, which cost US taxpayers $56 million in chocolate, mortuary fees and out of court settlements, is currently being reviewed by the university, the NIH and Amnesty International.

uspressnews.com

HUH???!


cornflakez